A compilation of the Witty Sayings of the Ingenious Gentleman
Sir Andrew Aguecheek of Illyria

- that Ideal of the Elizabethan Knight In All Things

[He is introduced to a chambermaid, has trouble getting her name right (they weren't very clear about it), and she soon leaves -- his friend says "An thou let part so, Sir Andrew, would thou mightst never draw sword again.' He replies:]
An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again! Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand? . . .
Methinks sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian or an ordinary man has. But I am a great eater of beef, and I believe that does harm to my wit.

[He speaks of his travelling soon; his friend says 'Pourquoi, my dear knight?']
What is 'pourquoi'? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting. O, had I but followed the arts! . . .
I am a fellow o' th' strangest mind i' th' world. I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether.

[Later, his friend uses more foreign language on him - his reply:]
...I know not, but I know to be up late is to up late.

[He is asked, 'Does not our life consist of the four elements?']
...so they say; but I think it rather consists in eating and drinking.

[In overhearing one who thinks himself unobserved speculating on marrying his social superior: 'There is example for't. The Lady of the Strachy married the yeoman of the wardrobe.' --From his heart, Sir Andrew responds:]
Fie on him, Jezebel.

(- quoted from William Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.)