Catch the new paperback, from
Countdown2-Zero Books :

     "Look, sir!  Somethings are coming up on the scope!"
     "What things, Lieutenant?"
     "Too many to describe - ! - oh no, they're going to ram us!"
     A mighty smash disordered the scene to incomprehensibility for a
 few paragraphs-worth or so.  Then things generally became obvious 
 again, and the collisions were shown to have destroyed almost every-
     "OK, who's left," snapped Captain Jeeves, contemptuously leaving
 a slight wound to the attention of lesser personnel, and scrambling 
 to his feet.
     "Here, SIR!" bravely shouted the one remaining survivor, the 
 capable StraightMan 1st Class Barberry.
     "Bravo, ensign.  Now we can have some real fun." 
 He gave the ammo-band across his cheek a whack, for emphasis.
     "I don't think so, SIR.  These wretched illustrators have design-
 ed the command bridge without any exit except maybe a trapdoor in the
 floor, and they left that out."
     "We'll have to climb over the consoles, then, if we're going to
 reach the Timegate in time.  Forward!"

   Before it's too late*, buy TIME MASTERS!       Catalog # 000-000/0000,000.    Only from Countdown2-Zero Books.

(Parental guidance suggested: scenes from this work are guaranteed to be fit for the immature mind, because it's so thoroughly stupid.)

*(unsold copies remaindered to a warehouse in Pennsylvania for recycling will not be available for sale.)
[Note from the Webmaster:    the preceding was intended as a spoof of well-advertised really bad products, and third-rate military science fiction (- among other things). In case it needed spelling out...]
   Go on to Episode #2 of 'Start Truck'.  (-new, Summer 1999.)